I was driving down the freeway one Saturday morning when the car in front of me suddenly made this incredible "POP!" noise and burst into flames underneath. The driver quickly pulled off, of course, as did I - it's the right thing to do, right???
The driver of the flaming vehicle flings his door open and climbs out of the driver's seat, and he's a black guy. A rather large black man. And he stands next to his car, shaking his head in dismay; it's an older car, probably with very high mileage and I seriously doubt the poor machine survived. At first, I was alarmed because he was standing so close to the car. I parked a short distance away for safety and then ran up to him, "You gotta get away from your car! It was on fire!!" He hadn't noticed that part, and by the time I was standing next to him the flames were out. But I told him to grab his stuff quickly anyway (not bright; car could've blown up) and back away from the vehicle...which he did.
I asked him if he had someone he could call for a ride - No.
Triple A (AAA) coverage - No.
Anyone that can give you a lift??? - No.
And he obviously did not have money for a cab. So what does any decent person do? Offer him a ride, of course. Especially since he was on his way to some sort of sports thing not even 5 minutes from where we were on the freeway. No problem, right? Kinda wrong.
I did offer him the ride, and he accepted with a surprised look on his face, but my behavior in this scenario would be considered too risky by most people I associate with regularly. The more awkward thing was, there seemed to be a sort of silent understanding between the two of us that this was indeed a very strange thing - my offering him a ride. Especially considering that the stretch of freeway we were on runs right through South Central LA. Not the safest territory for anyone; even a spunky white chick who assumes that her luck and can-do attitude will carry her through the experience.
So he gets into my car and I try to make polite conversation to soothe his nerves. Heck, his car just blew up, right? This seemed to make him even more anxious, so I shut up and we drove in silence until we arrived at his destination. He didn't even wait for my car to fully stop before he throws open the passenger side door and jumps out. I was startled, but no big deal. As he walked away, he did turn around to thank me. And that concludes the whole interaction.
Now, I've been told before that I should NEVER do something like that in SoCal. So that's the context in my head as I'm helping this guy. And I'm wondering if he's thinking in the same context - like, "What is she doing?! Doesn't she know that I'm a big black guy that could bust a cap in her ass??"
However, he could've been nervous and/or upset for so many reasons:
1. His car blew up.
2. Doesn't look like he has a lot of money (based on the car, his attire, etc.), so he might be worried about his job? Perhaps because he can't afford to repair his car or purchase a replacement??
3. Or maybe he just had a really horrible morning and the car was the proverbial "icing on the cake".
4. Etc., etc., etc.
Whatever the case was, I'll never know. My point is, I KNEW what the context in my head was, and part of me regarded him as a risk.
What would you have done?
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Its funny isn't it? How stereotypes actually influence our judgement? In our country, everyone looks pretty much the same...sometimes you assume that a person is from state A...but when you find out that he/she is actually from state B, your whole impression totally changes!
ReplyDeletethe same thing you did-- give him a ride!
ReplyDeleteyou can never give anything away.....it all comes back!
Hi Kheiron,
ReplyDeleteAt its heart, this is an exercise in error management. There are two error possibilities here. #1--You assume (implicitly or explicitly) that the guy's a creep ergo no ride and he turns out NOT to be a creep, and #2 You assume he's not a creep ergo you give him a ride but he turns out TO BE a creep. One error costs you nothing. The other invites the possibility of physical harm.
These errors are in terms of weight very unequal. The rational thing to do thus is to only risk the first type of error. If you make that error (whether you know it or not) then no harm done, i.e. no cost.
You risked error #2 but did not commit it. You had what we call a true negative. You assumed he was not a creep. You gave him a ride and he turned out NOT to be a creep.
Let me underscore that this a rational way to look at the problem... You can look at it using a different "faculty", e.g. gut feeling or intuition etc... The error possibilities however remain the same...
CB
wow. that's a tough one. i've felt for a long time that men have power over women simply because of their size. if we were the same size, equal physically, the world would be different. his color adds drama to it due to stereotypes, but ultimately size and strength are the biggest thing at play here, no? now that i've rambled on, i'll answer your question - i would have offered my phone for him to call a friend or offer to call AAA for him. I wouldn't have let him in my car simply because I'm paranoid about being attacked by a man!
ReplyDeleteHope that I too would be the Good Samaritan.
ReplyDelete